When attending a lumberjack competition you are likely to hear a lot of the same things being yelled at competitors. Here are some of my favorites commonly heard in the college ranks, usually being yelled by dozens of people at the most novice of competitors.

Whole Saw!

This is without a doubt one of my favorites. Whenever I hear this it’s always good for a laugh. This phrase is usually being yelled at crosscut teams as they attempt to make a cut through a log (often times with a saw that is far too long to begin with). In my experience, this is usually reserved for the teams that are struggling the most. As you watch these poor competitors hang up the saw or run it through thin air and struggle with every stroke, in comes the brilliant advice, “Whole Saw!!!!! Use the whole saw!!!” As if these competitors don’t have enough to worry about, now they are getting the advice to use more of the saw they can’t handle to begin with!

Finish It! Throw them all!

This is another good one! “Finish it” is normally pretty good advice (albeit, John Madden-esqe) in just about every event except for the one that is it normally reserved – pulp pit. For those not familiar with the event, pulp pit involves 4 pieces of wood that are thrown between two sets of stakes that are set 20 feet apart. Teams of 6, 3 teammates on each side, attempt to throw the pulp wood inside the stakes. Every piece that lands between the stakes is a point, and time stops when 48 points are accrued. Most of the time 48 points is reached while there are still logs left to throw, leaving the competitor with 2 or 3 sticks of pulp in front of them. Like clockwork, and with the urgency of a dog when the smoke alarms goes off, teammates will yell, “Throw them all!!! Finish it!!!” Let’s take a moment to think about this…why? I have no idea how this advice became so popular, especially being yelled with such conviction. As far as I can tell it only confuses the volunteer timers that probably barely understand what they’re doing to begin with. Whatever the case, it’s probably best to just “Throw them all!” rather than face an angry group of teammates afterwards!

You’re not tired yet!!!

If you’ve never heard this yelled at you before, consider yourself lucky. The only time that people yell this phrase is when you are, indeed, tired to the point of collapsing. I wish no competitor to ever be on the receiving end of this advice!

Turn the saw around!

This one is usually spoken by a spectator that fancies him/herself a witty one! As competitors are getting into their stance and running the saw on it’s spine, someone always yells this out. This person always expects a laugh in return, but finds only looks of disdain from the competitors as they hear this comment all the time. It reminds me of my days as a Park Ranger when I would be in full garb and constantly hear , “did you catch the bears with the picnic baskets??!!?”

Starter Teeth!

In the collegiate shows when competitors are resetting a saw between cuts, their teammates will yell to them, “Starter teeth!!! Use the starter teeth!!!!” Now, don’t get me wrong, this is sound advice. It is a very smart idea to begin each cut on the starter teeth. However, it seems to be a moot point when you look at how much damage is being done to the saw as newer teams hang up in the wood and bend rakers, or pick up on the saw and slam it back into the wood creating bent teeth and short points. Maybe I’m crazy, but I’d rather spend my energy yelling at them to saw properly, and save the starter teeth issue for a later date!